I love WordPress Discover because I end up finding my way through neat sites and incredible authors. One such author is Ra Avis, a spunky mysterious author who writes really provoking pieces. I found the post “how to heal: a poem” and it hit me, hard. I encourage you to read it first, follow the link. Then come back to me.
As per usual, I’m pulling the pieces that I think are most poignant and you, dear reader, get to read my thought-train on them.
“If you want to heal, you must first find every bruised place.” Know what this makes me think of? THERAPY. It’s like changing your sheets, it’s annoying at first to get in the rhythm of doing it every week, and it’s hard work at first to figure out how to get the damn fitted sheet the right way, and it’s a pain – just like starting therapy, but as you go week after week, you realize that the clean sheets on laundry day feel soo good (just like your soul starts to feel washed every time you walk away from the therapist’s office). Finding every bruised place is messy, it’s scary, and frankly it’s insanely difficult. Every bruise? I know that for me, some of the biggest bruises were ones that I ignored for a long time, ones that weren’t healing at all and in fact, I kept hitting myself in the same spot, re-aggravating the same wounds. So, coming clean to a therapist about the bruises you find (and acknowledging that they cause you true pain – avoid being dismissive) is a truly monumental step. “Next, you must tell somebody where it hurts.” Yes, indeed.
“Your body is not small. Your body is not slow. Your body is not helpless. It will be healing itself as you search for what needs healing.” – So, as you comb through your memories and “sift through everything you keep in the pockets of those rhythms,” you will realize that even in the searching you will find relief. Our bodies and minds are truly more magical than we can ever comprehend or even believe. Just by taking the steps to heal will, in the smallest ways, start to actual heal you.
“You will have to step into a dark room, give yourself roses and chocolates and promises you can keep.” You have to make you swoon, per se. Make as much peace for yourself as you can. There is a quote I saw once that reads “Peace: it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.” So, in this hard work phase of trying to heal, we have to understand that peace can be found when we give ourselves the grace to be afraid of that dark room, but take care of ourselves because we are our own best caretaker in those moments. Someone touching your arm to comfort you in a dark room might be the worst trigger of further fear, but you know that deep breathing will help you see the light…or whatever example you want. The reality of this healing process is to love on yourself a little extra – the roses and chocolate piece – and then being aware that in the midst of these hard things, you can still indeed find peace.
“Let the telling empty you of bruises. Hollow the pockets of your heart of everything except the memory of how you care for you.” – I call this the “deep work.” Let it all out, don’t judge yourself for the feelings you have, just share them and exhale or cry or sweat or puke or run or sleep or hug or fight and yell, but get it out. You will feel an expelling of energy and in return, breaths of fresh clean healthy good yummy air filling your lungs, reminding yourself how good it feels to be alive.
Now, the line that made me love this poem: “Pack your cells with joy until it is what they know best, and what they trust most.”
How profound is that. The simple yet amazing concept of what your cells are packed with become what they trust most, and what you see as your “normal.” Don’t allow your normal to be filled with despair or judgement or shame or historical pain, or depression. Do the deep work, get the support you need to “pack your cells with joy” to the point where it’s all they know.
“Be abundant. Joy is light; you can lift so much more of it than you can imagine. Imagine. Imagine. This is healing.”
Remember, there isn’t a timeline for this. There isn’t a right way or wrong way to do it. Just breathe in and out, realizing the truth of the words – the weight of joy is light – you can lift so much of it. And just imagine how different your life can look on the other side. This, is healing.