When you have a bad day, it’s mostly your fault. There. I said it. Because what I have realized is, (and this is kind of a follow up to the previous post) when we have bad days, the amount that we perpetuate that apparently horrible day by responding to “how are you?” with “I’m having such a bad day” only furthers our bad day! That run-on sentence was supposed to explain the nature of how our own reactions to the moods we are in simply make them worse. I think I have a solution (at least for myself) that I am going to try.
I am going to think about how if I’m having a so-called bad day, I am going to think of ways in which I have made it worse – by either thinking about it or telling it to other people – people I care about. By acknowledging that when I tell someone else, I impact their day negatively, I should realize that that tactic simply does no good. Instead, my new idea is to focus on being generous. Do something for someone else instead of wallowing in self-pity or regret or stress. I have found that even by smiling and commenting on how much someone makes you smile will actually turn your mood around, or at least begin that change.
This is how it was sparked. I was at work tonight, and I felt like I couldn’t do ANYTHING right. Seriously though, I was messing up left and right. And when you have a job where your income is about 90% based on my tips, screwing up people’s orders or whatever I do wrong reallllllly doesn’t help my sales or my evening — or my mood. My friend Krystal asked me how I was doing and I told her how I was messing everything up. She gave me very simple, but very direct advice. She said “forget about how you messed up before, and don’t think about the mistakes you made. Take a deep breath in, let it out, relax, and do what you know how to do. You’re fine babe.” And that helped me to turn my shift around and relax. Her influence (and her generosity) led me to happiness and completely u-turned my mood and I had a great shift. I made very good tips because my customers could tell I was genuinely enjoying myself and enjoying serving them.
Krystal’s advice to me tonight really showed me that generosity can lead to choosing to be happy. There’s a quote I read recently that says “If you want to be happy, be.” Simple, right? But it makes you think. So here’s my advice for the day:
1) Relax. Give yourself a break. What you did probably isn’t going to change anyone’s life horribly, and if you deal with it calmly and professionally, everything will blow over.
2) Lean on people around you when you are in a tough situation, because chances are – they have some good advice for you, even if it’s just to eat some chocolate when you get home and watch The Notebook.
3) Turn your bad mood into productive generosity to better the lives of the people around you. Just because you’re having a bad day doesn’t give you the right to spread that bitterness. Instead, show caring love to those around you, in whatever you do, and who knows? It might just positively affect your mood!
Lastly, just remember, whenever you have “one of those days,” a day only lasts 24 hours, and everyone’s days are numbered. Be thankful for the time you have, do you really want to waste it being upset?