computer viruses.

I don’t understand them. All I know about them is that when your computer freaks out and starts eating itself, you find yourself having to search for working computers in appropriate study areas across campus, seeking out any “computerey” person to help you fix the monster that has become your previous good ‘ole friend computer, and then restlessly trying to figure out what files you want to save if in case your computer happens to swallow itself whole. Yep, that’s me lately.

I want to know WHO decided to waste their time creating the first ever computer virus. I will give that person credit, whomever you may be — but only to a point. I cannot fathom the kind of person who would have the guts (and lack of life plans) to want to sit down at their (functioning) computer and create an infectious program that would stress out the lives of countless computer no-brains like poor me.

But it has happened. Some person did it, many others followed suit, and now we have the computer virus-infected world that we live in today. And I just have to say, I hate it.

Please take a moment to picture me. I was about to leave for a meeting, and I had prepared a PowerPoint slideshow (the top of my technological capabilities; I was feeling quite proud). I decided to googleimage a picture to add to a slide at the last minute, and apparently clicked on the double-jeopardy picture of the day which infested my poor old ThinkPad with more than it could handle.

So there I am, realizing that the 92384312 windows that immediately popped up on my screen would magically disappear if only I were to pray realllllly hard, but of course they didn’t. My computer knowledge lacks enough that I didn’t even know what to do at that point — if I shut my computer down, will it ever “wake up?” Or should I shut it down, so the virus(es?) don’t fully decapitate the poor machine?

Time was of the essence, so I just left it to do what it wanted, and ever since then, the computer has been winning. I am ashamed to say that “I fought the computer and the, computer won, I fought the computer and the, computer won.”

So the next stop was to take the thing to DoIt on campus – or should I say “WeDon’tDoItAnymore.” They “regretted to inform me” that they no longer offer virus removal from university computer program – purchased computers. GREAT.

However, after a few minutes of them questioning me about what I had done and realizing how innately clueless I was about the mysterious diagnosis that was yet to be had for my computer, they took pity on me and loaded two programs onto my desktop *not happily, I may add* and told me to run each, twice.

I. am. NOT. a. computer. person.

I wish I could say I was. I love it when they work, I hate it when they say any kind of error message at all – it wigs me out, makes me confused, and worries me that the little man inside the computer who is usually my friend is for some reason angry with me.

So until “DoIt” DoesIt, I am left to sitting in the Reinert Library at 11:37pm, writing in my blog to hash out my feelings about the topic instead of studying.

To all of you out there who have a functioning computer, praise the Lord. And for those of you who don’t — join me in praying desperately to Him to convince those blessed ones to understand these opinionated machines- to help us.

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About Christina Moore

Originally from Portland, Maine, I now live in Chicago and work with extraordinary nonprofit organizations to help them champion their individual causes. My heart is in the 207, and my feet are on the ground in the 312. Enjoy readmoore!
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